Finding Strength in Shared Stories

“When it comes to grief, the metaphor I like to use is weightlifting. You carry stuff through your life. It’s not that you get to put down the weight, but the longer you carry it, the stronger your muscles become. In time, it feels lighter.”

There is a profound power within the stories we share. Nancy Miller, an English Professor at South Puget Sound Community College (SPSCC), has experienced this power firsthand with the publication of her recent anthology, Daring to Breathe: Stories of Living with the Foreverness of Grief.

Miller's path to becoming an author was unexpected. With a background in teaching and journalism, she never anticipated that her journey would lead her to write about such intimate topics as grief. The catalyst for this journey was the devastating loss of her daughter on Christmas night in 2008. Following her daughter’s passing, Miller connected with another author, Armen Bacon, who had recently lost her son. Together, they published Griefland: An Intimate Portrait of Love, Loss, and Unlikely Friendship in 2012.

In 2020, in the middle of the pandemic, Miller and Bacon were presented with the opportunity to reissue Griefland. Grief was front-and-center in many people’s lives and their book spoke to that experience. After some discussion, Miller and Bacon decided that they wanted to do something new.

“If you look at grief memoirs or books on grief, it’s always dealing with fresh grief,” Miller said. “I wondered about the long-haulers, people who have lost someone or something ten, even twenty years ago. What happens to grief when it gets old?”

With that, the concept of Daring to Breathe was born: a collection of stories that explored long-haul grief, encompassing experiences beyond death. They put out a call for contributors and were surprised by the flood of responses.

“There were so many. There were stories from cancer survivors, a woman living with cerebral palsy, being estranged from family, a man who was abandoned by his mother. Every time someone sent a story, it felt like opening something sacred. I wanted to make sure I met every story with respect and understand the privilege it was to read them,” Miller shared.

Among the contributors were members of the SPSCC community, including three students and two faculty. Reflecting on her journey so far, Miller realized how much of a role the college played in her healing.

Miller hopes that readers of Daring to Breathe have the courage to share their own stories because the world needs more of them. Community members will have the chance to engage with Miller at her event hosted by Browsers Bookshop on May 18, 2024.

“Stories give people strength. Stories save lives because they are evidence that people can survive the most awful things and keep going. Even if it’s different from what you’re dealing with, they’re a reminder that you’re not alone.”